What I've learned about people (and myself) from having a dog

Benji the miniature labradoodle has been part of our family for just over a year now. Although I grew up with dogs, owning one for the first time as an adult has been a learning experience. As well as the practicalities of vets, insurance and grooming, there has also been an unexpected social aspect to navigate. It has taught me as much about people as it has about dogs.

Some people are dog people, some are not

This is obviously fair enough, each to their own etc. It does mean that dog walks are a constant lottery of approaching strangers and preparing for them to either gush over your puppy and be happy for him to lick their faces, or back off in horror as if he is a rabid hell hound.

Dog people are the best, obviously. Even if you don't think you're a dog person, spending time with a good dog will turn you round, I guarantee. Friends of my daughter who were previously petrified of dogs will now run up to us in the street yelling, "Benji!" and happily clap* him.

People love to give you advice

The unsolicited advice is worse than when you have a baby.

"Puppy needs exercise and fresh air" BUT "don't let it out straight away or it'll catch all the viruses and DIE!"

"Your dog needs a lovely cosy den where they will feel safe" BUT "don't put blankets, toys, food, water or leave their collar on while in their crate or they will choke to DEATH!"

"Feed your dog healthy, nutritious food replicating what they would naturally eat" BUT "raw food contains billions of bacteria, take care or you, your children and your dog will all DIE!"

And that's just the "official" advice, random people will be constantly telling you what to do or not do. It's a minefield and you could easily be overwhelmed. I took the same approach I did with my kids and took all info into consideration but at the end of the day usually go with my gut feeling and common sense.

People don't respect the training you are doing with your dog.

Mine is a super excitable pup who wants to greet everyone enthusiastically. But most people don't want a mucky furball hurtling itself at them and leaping for face licks. So I'm training him to stay down and wait for the go-ahead. I will tell people that, but some people will still say, "ah it's ok, I don't mind!" Well I do, you're undoing hours of my hard work, please let me control my dog. On the other hand, some people will try to train your dog for you. The second he goes to approach them, whether under my control or not, they will raise a hand, present a warning palm and "buh buh buh" him until he sits. Even if I am mid-command or actively reigning him in.

But as with the unsolicited advice above, it comes from a good place. Most are genuinely trying to help and have more experience than I do, and just want to pass on their knowledge.

People with dogs come second to their dogs.

In my small neighbourhood I have now got to know easily 30 dogs. I know their names, breeds and ages. I know nothing about their owners. I could not tell you any of their names and would most likely not recognise them if we met outwith our usual walking routes, yet we will stop and have a wee chat when we meet, sharing stories about our pups and more.

Likewise, most of them don't know my name. I'm now "Benji's Owner" or "Benji's mum" (I'm not his mum, his mum is a dog). If I ever go missing, you'll have far more luck tracing my last known movements by showing round photos of my dog than of me.

People are creatures of habit

I don't work regular hours, so will take the dog out for walks at slightly different times each day, although usually within a broad window. There is definitely an early morning crowd separate from the late morning crowd and an early evening squad separate from the late evening squad. If I go outwith my usual time parameters, I meet a whole load of strange dogs, it's quite unsettling.

People are predictable

When we meet a new person out on walks, we tend to get the same few comments, on his energy levels, his friendliness, his excitement levels and his markings. Most women will ask what breed of dog he is. Most men will try to guess or tell me. "He's a cockapoo, right?" "A cavapoo, no?" "Some kind of spaniel, aye?"

I have learned things about myself, too.

I love the walks, no matter what the time of day or weather. I was a frequent walker before, but enjoy the routine, the ritual and the dedicated time set aside every day for dog walks, day, each morning, afternoon and evening. I use the time to explore, to think, mull and plan and if I feel like some virtual company I listen to podcasts. Hours and hours of podcasts.

I'm naturally quite shy and don't usually talk to strangers if I can help it, but a dog acts as social lubricant and makes it easier for me to strike up and maintain a conversation with people. Dog people, whether they have a dog with them or not, are always happy to talk to another dog person. I've heard snippets of stories about people's marriages, children, jobs and health from complete strangers. I've shared my own. Sometimes these are the only time I'll speak to another adult all day and I quite enjoy it.

I have also learned more about my surroundings

Benji usually gets 3 walks a day, most of them starting from our house and taking a variety of routes around the local area. In the before-dog times, I would have walked these same paths going to the shops, school pick-up or just for leisure and pleasure. Walking with a dog is a different experience. It's slower, with frequent stops for peeing, pooing or just sniffing around. (The dog, not me) The walk isn't a means to an end of getting somewhere, it is the whole activity. There is less rush, more focus on the experience. I notice more about the things around me. The green shoots emerging after winter. The trees suddenly covered entirely in white or pink blossom, then fading to brown and falling after a short few days. The sudden swathes of blue on the woodland floor that weren't there yesterday. A bush bursting with delicate flame-orange flowers out of nowhere. Seeds forming, then drifting off into the wind. I know which times of year when I'm likely to spot foxes or deer on early morning walks and what times the squirrels are out rustling in the tree branches. The whole lifecycle of flora and fauna played out each day before me.

(*not applaud him, to clap a dog means to pet/pat/fuss a dog in Scottish)